Empathetic Leadership

What is your experience of compassionate (or not) leadership?

I think everyone has an experience of non-compassionate leadership, so I’ll share one of compassionate leadership I’ve experienced…

Actually, I can’t think of an experience like how it’s explained in the book, sadly.

I guess it’ll have to be a non-compassionate story after all. A colleague I worked with got promoted. We were on quite good terms before hand, and at the beginning of his management career.

However, soon after, I was restructured into his team. All good to begin with, but then I began to feel an inner-conflict going on for him. He had to make some hard decisions, and some decisions that I felt were unfair. Our friendship didn’t really pull through that unfortunately.

It felt like he pulled away a lot, and was choosing the job over our friendship, to put it dramatically.

Many non-compassionate decisions or actions come from a feeling of needing to tick a box, or achieve a goal as the only important measure I suppose. In that paradigm anyway.


Do the multiplying goodness meditation. How did you find it?

It felt great, kind of hard to get in the right headspace, but quite refreshing.

It’s hard to describe it to any friends of family without sounding kookie, but I like the concept and the frame of mind it can put me in.


Do the Tonglen meditation. How did you find it?

I haven’t done this one yet. I’m not sure I’m ready. Too scary at the moment.


How does the SCARF model apply to your Phase 0 experience so far?

The choice to do EDA was mainly motivated by wanting to improve my Status, and increase Certainty in my work income, and develop Autonomy through contracting. Related ness has been a little more difficult in Phase-0, but it has increased with my immediate family and community, which has been great.


How will it apply to bootcamp?

I think Status will take a back seat at Bootcamp, so will Certainty, but the others will shoot up in importance. Autonomy of thought, coming wiht confidence in the language, and how you can work as a team creatively.


Have a difficult conversation. How did it go? (It's a valuable skill, but can take practice to develop!)

I think many difficult conversations don’t need to be had if you prepare for the conversation as described. Just stopping to think about it from another point of view leans you towards questioning if you have to bring something up.

I haven’t had any difficult topics to cover this week, so haven’t practiced this one yet.

I’ll keep you posted though.