Control

What learnings did you take from the chapter?

I have to say that I think I was looking forward to this chapter, and the discussion of a structure or methodology around controlling your emotions. Moving from Compulsion to Choice was a good start.

What I came away with though was a lot more finessed than just blanking out your mind, or wrangling your thoughts to suit your will. It wasn’t about will-power, it was about letting go.

The ability to identify when you’re “grasping” and when you’re “averting” leads you towards the ability of being able to let these two reactions go.

The opportunities to feel pain without suffering, pleasure without the unrealistic expectation, and ultimate disappointment from, the end of that pleasure or happiness “grasping at it’, or ‘averting from the future possibility of it’s end’ are appealing.

Identifying your triggers wasn’t new, but good to have it formalised in understanding the beginning of a coping mechanism like SBNRR. A link was highlighted about triggers when it was pointed out about how they are often related to past hurts and feelings of inadequacy.

The biggest surprise was the reflection part of SBNRR. Reflecting on the fact that the other person also just wants to be happy. What they’re doing is somehow part of their search for happiness.

I loved the poems, the hosting of our emotions in the guest house of our mind. Befriending them, but not feeding them or allowing them to be the boss. Honouring them, and not vilifying them. Letting go of our fight or flight instincts towards them. They were a lovely way to end the chapter, literally literally.


How did you find the two minutes of mindfulness?

My mindfulness has come to be part of my bedtime routine with my girls. Sometimes it’s more effective than others. One of them loves doing the body scan.

I was challenged by my wife this week though to apply this material directly to some of my triggers, and corners of my mind and heart that I’ve relegated to the too hard corners. I had felt that I didn’t quite have the tools to deal with the dark clouds, and we’re racing through week seven now. Do I have time to start looking at my sh#t?

I think this course is life changing, let alone career changing, if we let it be. These are useful tool, however mush we pick them up and use them, or not.